8 Reasons Why We Never Gave Up On Each Other

1. If I’m being completely honest, the first reason we didn’t give up on each other was because the bar was low. Neither one of us knew what the hell we were doing or how to love each other as a married couple. We were two great individuals who had no clue how to be husband and wife. We both wanted the other spouse to be a better spouse but how could we feasibly ask for something we were incapable of giving ourselves?
2. Despite our frustrations in marriage (especially within the first 2-3 years), we were better individuals because of each other. After marrying Travis, I became a better person. I love it how God will send you exactly what you need (even if you don’t necessarily want it). Every single thing I lack, he makes up in. Having him in my corner made me a better friend, family member, and overall person. We had to learn to channel what made us great as individuals into becoming amazing as a couple.
3. Even though our best wasn’t good enough, we both knew we were trying our best to create a fulfilling marriage. We had no clue what that could be, because #1 we lacked preparation and # 2, we made the horrible mistake of imitating other peoples marriage. This led us to falter and disappoint each other in ways that could have ruined us forever.
4. We stopped worrying about what the other person was or was not doing. We started focusing on what we could do in our individual roles to be the change we wanted to see. We learned that once you put 110% into your role as a husband or wife, they will reciprocate your efforts.
5. We need each other. So many people are afraid of this level of vulnerability. To need someone gives that person leverage. Once we became intentional about our marriage, we grew to trust each other with having that much leverage.  I know for a fact that Travis would never use his leverage against me and vice versa.
6. Our kids are watching and their future depends on us. I don’t believe in staying in an unhealthy situation for the kids, but I do believe the kids are worth not throwing anything away based on a brief season of despair. Sure there were times when we said out loud “I can’t do this.” But the hurt our kids would experience was enough to ask “have we done everything we can to work through this tough moment in our marriage?”
7. After we began connecting with happily married couples, we realized the details of our story was not the problem, the way we addressed the issues was the cause of the strife in our marriage. If there is one thing I’ve learned throughout my marriage (and especially throughout my years of operating Fab Wives) is that so many of our stories are the same. Rarely can we change the struggles we go through, but we have 100% control over our mindset and how we react to obstacles.
8. I can’t do any better.  That statement was hard to reflect on and even harder to write. We often hear that statement associated with low self-esteem or a feeling of low self-worth. Let me re-write that statement a little more boldly, and a lot more proud. I CAN’T DO ANY BETTER THAN TRAVIS PLUMMER.  Travis was designed specifically for me. RHEA (GOLDEN) Plummer.  I have that much faith in God that he would send me the man that would take my life to unimaginable heights and provide for me in a way that no one else ever could. So, I absolutely believe that my husband, my provider, my leader – the man that God designed specifically for me (so much so, that even when my marriage was in the dumps, my life was still elevating) is the BEST THAT I CAN EVER FIND IN A MATE. When I accepted reason # 8, I knew we could be committed to love and marriage forever.

My marriage was work yesterday and it will be work tomorrow when we come off the high of making it to 8 years of marriage. We’ll still have bad days and unfortunately we’ll have storms we’ll need to work through together. But when you’re willing to do the work, willing to say – I don’t know it all; let me get help in growing and when you have each other’s best interest at heart; the reasons to stay will always outweigh the reasons to leave.

A little note to Travis:

Happy anniversary my love.  I love you more than you will ever know. I’ve loved you unconditionally since the age of 21 and committed my life to you at the young age of 26.   You’ve played a key role in cultivating the woman I am today.  You’ve taught me patience, kindness, true love and support. My decision to remain committed to love and marriage goes far beyond any company I could ever create. You are the source of my commitment and will always be. Thank you for graciously allowing me to share our story and prove to the world that even when the odds are stacked against you, love always wins and commitment always prevails. You’re my muse, my gift, my inspiration, my support. THANK YOU for loving me even in the moments when I am completely unlovable.

XO, Rhea