Why Compromise in Marriage Makes you Uncomfortable

The #1 piece of marital advice you will hear is that communication is the key to a successful marriage.  Unfortunately, no one ever tells you that you’d mostly be communicating about the compromises required to make your marriage work.

Compromise can be so uncomfortable.  I hate to admit it, but there have been some situations that I didn’t want to compromise on at all, so I took it off the table for discussion. Namely finances!  Early in my marriage, my husband and I couldn’t find the compromise for how we would manage money together, so we made the decision to handle it entirely separate and NEVER EVER discuss it!  7 years later, we know that was not a good decision at all (Click Here to Read what’s mine is mine).

So why exactly is compromise so uncomfortable?  Is it because to compromise means you normally have to bend a little and agree to things you may not want to agree to?

One of my favorite books, “The Purpose and Power of Love & Marriage,” really allowed me to embrace the idea of compromise more and helped me to realize our approach to reaching a compromise in our marriage was all wrong.  In the B.C. years of marriage (Before Compromise), when my husband and I came together to make a decision we opened the discussion by addressing what would be each other’s ideal outcome.  That’s totally wrong.  When going into any marital discussion the question should be what is the ideal outcome for our marriage?  Once married, the decisions are not what’s best for me or you.  It’s about what’s best for our marriage.

[tweetthis]”Marriage is bigger than the two people in it” -Myles Munroe[/tweetthis]

Keeping the marriage as the center of your decisions eliminates feelings of resentment toward each other and further strengthens the love the two of you have for your marriage. You’ll find strength in knowing the decisions you are making together are to advance a union greater than either one of the individuals that came together to create it.

Rhea