Improve your in-law relationships with 7 quick strategies

Nothing can weigh a marriage down heavier than in-law issues.  Sorting through in-law issues is hard work and can too often lead to very discouraging moments, where you may feel like the only form of relief is for you to leave.  Last month, in “Why Do My In-Laws Hate Me,” we discussed trying to cope with an in-law issue by putting yourself in their shoes, identifying why they look at your gain as their loss.  This month, I’m sharing real strategies compiled from my own experience and feedback from the Fab Wives community for dealing with a stressful in-law situation.

7 Quick Strategies: From In-Laws to In-Loves

1. Silence is not golden: A tough in-law situation will not just go away on its own.  At some point, you and your spouse will need to have a real discussion where you make every effort to make him understand how these issues are impacting you and your marriage.

2. Understand that your spouse may not even realize there is a problem: Keep in mind that your spouse has of course known his family his whole life and may be used to or immune to some of the problematic behaviors your in-laws display.

3. Call them your “In-Loves”: This is a strategy from the playbook of Wife Coach, Lakia Brandenburg.  I love it because it sets a positive tone and lets them know how highly you think of them.

4. Know when distance is the only option: Sometimes, space is the only way to protect your marriage.

5. If you’re the spouse that feels like you’re in the middle of your spouse and family, [tweetthis]understand that you have an obligation to protect your spouse from disrespect and hurt.[/tweetthis] People generally have a tendency to keep the BS away from you if they KNOW you’re not buying it!

6. Forgive & move on: Recognize that you and your spouse are not the only ones dealing with the transition of your marriage.  If an in-law is asking for forgiveness for hurtful things they may have said and done, try your best to simply forgive and move on.

7. Understand that going off will only make things worse, not only with your in-loves but with your marriage, too.

I know how stressful, hurtful and disappointing an in-law issue can be. It can make you feel very lonely in a marriage. Above all, decide together how you and your spouse will handle a tough in-law situation because when you have in-law issues, you have real marital issues that will not go away overnight.  A unique level of love, commitment and communication is necessary to overcome this hurdle in your marriage.  Keeping the seven strategies will help you.

Rhea