3 Ways to get the most out of your marriage?

With celebrity marriages (for some) being the only example of modern marriage, it’s no surprise many question whether marriage is truly forever. It’s frustrating to see people treat marriage in the same manner as they would go about choosing a college or trying out a new hobby. “If it doesn’t work out, I can just try again” or “what do I have to lose?” To that I say…

If forever isn’t the goal, then what’s the purpose?

If entered into with care, marriage can be one of the most rewarding experiences in life. A consistent friend, accountability partner, lover and possibly the strongest system of support you’ll ever receive. With hard work and the right foundation, your spouse can be that for you and more. However, by nature a person will usually only match your efforts. If your perspective on marriage is “this is cool for right now” you’re not going to strive to develop into all of the things I mentioned earlier and your spouse will simply match your effort (or lack thereof).

A marriage with two individuals living only for right now can never go the distance.

Marriage is an investment; it takes risk, effort, collaboration and most of all a long-term plan before receiving a good return.

What I’ve come to realize most about marriage is the key to a happy, successful marriage is to simply be intentional. Making a choice to keep my marriage at the forefront was a transition for me. It wasn’t always my top priority and it showed. Big arguments over small things and an un-explainable void were the side effects of my choice to put my marriage in the back seat. It wasn’t until my husband and I really went in search for what marriage meant to us that we began making the transition to being a happily married couple.  This doesn’t mean every day is a good day…shhh, to be 100% transparent my husband and I are going through a “thing” right now. For me, this is why it’s so important to make a commitment to love and marriage. When I go through my moments, I still have a positive outlook on my marriage.

Despite a moment of indifference, being intentional about my marriage has taught me that even a tough blow won’t tear down something that’s built on a strong foundation.  Do I want to be petty wap and go back to my old ways of not speaking to him when we’re not seeing eye-to-eye? Of course!! But what would not speaking to him do for our marriage? It certainly wouldn’t do anything to grow it, move it along or to assure it lasts forever.

3 Ways to make it last forever

1. Make a choice that it will last forever
2. Ask yourself every day have I done something today, that will grow my marriage (a love note, a spicy text, a long kiss, telling my husband how proud I am to be his wife, etc.)
3. Create the marriage that works for you and your husband. The saying holds true “comparison is the thief of joy” I would also add that emulation is the thief of joy too. How can I love something that doesn’t represent me? How can I enjoy something I am mimicking? Sometimes we feel the need to match the picture of what we expect marriage to be, based on someone else’s reality and not realize their happy reality could be our misery because it doesn’t involve the elements that make us who we are.  When you and your husband can create something that is uniquely your own, you will find the beauty that truly lies in marriage.

Simply put…Marriage is not a fad; its forever.

XO, Rhea

Rhea